Why You Should Stop Dating a Christian Man Who Keeps Your Relationship a Secret
Cynthia Wilson James
5/30/20252 min read
Private Relationship is not a Secret Relationship
Brother Secretive tells you that he wants to keep your dating relationship private because he doesn't want the church people in your business. He doesn't want them to start asking questions. This means that you don’t sit with him during bible study class, worship service, or any event sponsored by the church. No one knows about your dating relationship except you and him!
A private relationship is not a secret relationship. If you choose not to share every detail of your dating life on social media or with everyone you come in contact with, you're protecting your privacy. But if you've agreed to be in a monogamous relationship and have been dating for months, and no one, not even your family or close friends, knows about it, you're in a secret relationship. This is especially true if one of you wants to make your relationship public and the other does not.
Reasons For Being Kept a Secret
Discovering the real reason why Brother Secretive wishes to hide your dating relationship is crucial. Is it coming from his fear of commitment, dishonesty, emotional immaturity, or something more sinful?
Unfortunately, he may want to keep your dating relationship a secret because he's dating other sisters in the congregation, and he wants each one to believe they're in a monogamous relationship with him! I've seen this too many times in the church.
My prayer for you is that you will ask the Father's strength in walking away from such a relationship. The earlier you can recognize the deception, the better. This will save you from a greater heartbreak and release you to attract a suitable mate in your life!
Moving Forward: Recognizing Your Worth
Isaiah 43:19 says, "Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth, shall you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert..." This is one of my favorite scriptures. On the days that you feel down and that you'll never find love, I want you to remember that our Father can make rivers in the desert. Be encouraged because you're the beautiful daughter of the King!