In A Secretive Christian Dating Relationship-Beware!
Cynthia Wilson James
1/11/20262 min read
Private Relationship is not a Secret Relationship
If you’re a single Christian woman, beware of a man who wants to keep your dating relationship a secret. Brother Secretive is the name I call him.
Brother Secretive tells you that he wants to keep your dating relationship private because he doesn't want the church people in your business. He doesn't want them to start asking questions. Plus, you’re both old enough not to have to answer to others.
This means that you don’t sit with him during bible study class, worship service, or any event sponsored by the church. No one knows about your dating relationship except you and him!
A word of wisdom: a private relationship is not a secret relationship. If you choose not to post every detail of your dating life on social media, you're protecting your privacy. If you’ve agreed to date exclusively and have been together for months, but no one knows—not even your best friend—then you’re in a secret relationship.
Reasons For Being Kept a Secret
The first question is which one of you wants to keep your relationship a secret.
It's crucial to discover the real reason why Brother Secretive wishes to hide your dating relationship.
He may have told you that when you get married, everyone will know about your relationship. Why are you waiting until marriage?
Unfortunately, I have seen far too many examples of single brothers in the church who kept their dating relationships secret because they were dating several sisters in the congregation! Each one of the sisters believed they were in a monogamous relationship!
Moving Forward: Recognizing Your Worth
Yes, it may hurt to stop dating a man who wants to keep your relationship a secret. But postponing this decision may be preventing you from attracting a man who truly recognizes your worth—your future husband.
You’re a beautiful daughter of the King, and any man should be proud to show that he’s in a relationship with you! (Psalm 139:14)
Feel free to contact me if you’d like support on your Christian journey from single to marriage.